Imagine if you can a movie fueled by a 60 year old subway performer that reminds you of a black plague quack and a gypsy. That is Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. After Big B opens this acid trip of a movie with a rousing subway performance on his double necked guitar we meet Rikki (Abhishek) and Alvira (Preity) who are both waiting for their fiances to come on the Birmingham train. While waiting they recount their respective love stories. Rikki is engaged to Anaida (Lara Dutta), the sexy assistant manager of the Paris Ritz. She's Pakistani w/ an amazingly horrible French Hindi accent and a femme fetale purple bob. Meanwhile Alvira made a pact with God not to marry an Indian or Pakistani (which she is) but settles for orange haired Steve (Bobby Deol), who's half British half Punjabi, when he saves her from a falling Superman figure at Madam Tussuad's. Of course during the telling of these stories Rikki learns some Urdu, Alvira's cold exterior begins t melt and they fall in love. Whatever will they do?
This movie was a lot of fun. The stories were over the top and the songs were catchy and colorful. The look of the movie overall was fantastic, the lighting and costuming especially so. The characters were lovable (esp. Rikki's boss Huffy Bhai) and the actors seemed to have the time of their lives playing them. And let's not forget Big B w/ the feather in his cap popping up for musical interludes. Priety of course has the shrill, standoffish heroine down to a T. Abhishek is tacky, uncouth, but adorable (sounds like Dostana!). Lara Dutta is stunning, Bobby Deol doesn't float my boat, but he did well in his role. This movie knows it's ridiculous and you love it the more b/c of that.
And now, After 4 months and 35 films, here are some things I've learned from watching Hindi Films
Aas: Don't trust people w/ lazy eyes
Bhoothnath: If you send your child away to college it will lead to your death.
Chak De! India: Don't make Indian hockey fans mad
Chalte Chalte: Date before you get married
Chirag Kahan Roshni Kahan: Marry someone before you give them your child
Deewana: even if you're super annoying you can still marry Rishi Kapoor and SRK
Dev: Don't live in Mumbai
Devdas: Madhuri Dixit+Aishwarya Rai+dancing=gold
Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke: A Walk in the Clouds is better in Hindi, and Abhishek slaughters Keanu Reeves any day.
Diwale Dulhania Le Jayenge: Just be as Hindustani as you can be
Don '06: Kill the bad guy when you have the chance
Don '78: Make sure the only guy who knows your identity doesn't die
Dostana: If your script is tacky and offensive, at least make sure your actors are attractive
Fanaa: Don't let your blind daughter out of your sight
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom: Don't talk to strangers
Jodhaa Akbar: Be careful where wet nurses are concerned
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna: Just don't be horrible
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham : Say what you mean
Kal Ho Naa Ho: The heroine never deserves the hero
Koi...Mil Gaya: Who needs Flubber to play basketball?
Koyla: Proves, like Dewaana, that you should really make sure they're dead, and that Amrish Puri is one scary dude
Krrish: MacDonald's shoes are the chosen footwear of Hindi superheroes
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: SRK can cry 1001 different ways
Love Aaj Kal: When in doubt, listen to the Sikh
Luck By Chance: When in doubt, listen to SRK
Main Hoon Na: Learn to recognize people's eyes
Mohabbatein: If Harry Potter were Indian, he'd teach music at a prep school
Om Shanti Om: There's nothing worse than the pain of disco
Pardes: Americans will always try to rape you.
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani: SRK+diamond stud= me barfing
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi: Punjab's my favorite
Salaam Namaste: Abstinence is the only fool proof method
Shakti: The Power: Stay in Canada
Swades: We The People: NASA scientists can't do math
U Me Aur Hum: Kajol is a powerhouse of talent
Veer-Zaara: Indians and Pakistanis are the SAME thing!
And when in doubt, mesh shirts are always a go and you should probably cast Anupam Kher.
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