Everyone and their mom let me know about the Bollywood episode of Psych that was on last Friday so of course I had to trangle down to Ashley's and watch it on her wall mounted big screen.
Apparently the Indian from Heros was in it. Like I knew, I don't watch popular network television shows (The Office, Glee, cough cough). Anyway, basically this ridiculously good looking Indian man (just the way I like them) is convinced he's cursed after his girlfriend almost gets crushed by a truck. Lassie brings Sean and Gus in to freak them out about the curse. Of course they solve the case.
A GREAT episode, not so great for the Bollywood, but oh for Sean and Gus. Heralding back to the first ridiculously well written season of Psych, this, the fourth season is fantastically quotable. This episode included such gems as "No offence, but you people are just stupid for eating food this hot" and "Indian givers!!". Even though Sean is getting a tad chunky monkey and wears ridiculous man chokers I still love him. And who could forget Gus. And I have a tad crush on Lassie in all his giant crooked-nosed black Irish goodness.
As for the Bollywood, as much as I wish they had miraculously gotten Baby B or Preity, we had to settle for the guy from Heros, who, albeit is a stud muffin in a ridiculously perfect kind of way, was a little too dark and hairy for me (says the girl who's spent 5 months w/ SRK and Hrithik's wheatish bare chests). We must remember though that all Indians portrayed were Indian Americans, haha. The women were very fair, and I do wonder if they were actually Indian (although I'd never guess Preity was if I didn't know).
The costumes were pretty shabby and low-budget, but they WERE working w/ television budgets and not real Bollywood numbers. The Indian girlfriend performed to Aaja Nachle (again, I wish they would have wowed me with a ridiculous dancer a la Madhuri, but alas alack) wearing who knows what, but the backups looked great. Of course the episode ended at the Holi festival where all the costumes were painted with color and lacked the serendipitous splattering of the real deal. Also, Jules' sari was just that, sorry (ew, pun!).
The episode was in fact directed by the brother of the main desi boy character (here) and you can really tell. It had many of the melodramatic and beautiful hallmarks (imagine the scene from above as Sean's pulling the girl out of that hole beautifully shot) of Hindi cinema. The directing wasn't a masterpiece, but it fit the bill.
Overall the actual Bollywood was v. minimal, but done adequately given the resources. The episode as a whole was fantastic.
PS I've updated fashionephemera.
Kareena Kapoor & Paris Hilton
Zayed Khan & Keanu Reeves
Om Shanti Om was the second Hindi film I saw, Krrish being the first. As you can imagine the Deewangi number was way over my head. I saw OSO w/ dear Genevieve and because we didn't recognize the cameos we assigned the Indian celebrities Hollywood counterparts or doppelgangers if you will. The matches are made on appearance and first impression personas. It's pretty fun actually. The previous Abhishek/Sacha Baron Cohen comparison was courtesy of Sarah. After watching Jhoom Barabar Jhoom the comparison between Rikki and Cohen's Ali G was a no brainer, or at least the very least hilarious.
Don't worry, I have more. And once Genevieve and I are back together I'm sure the comparisons will be epic.
Imagine if you can a movie fueled by a 60 year old subway performer that reminds you of a black plague quack and a gypsy. That is Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. After Big B opens this acid trip of a movie with a rousing subway performance on his double necked guitar we meet Rikki (Abhishek) and Alvira (Preity) who are both waiting for their fiances to come on the Birmingham train. While waiting they recount their respective love stories. Rikki is engaged to Anaida (Lara Dutta), the sexy assistant manager of the Paris Ritz. She's Pakistani w/ an amazingly horrible French Hindi accent and a femme fetale purple bob. Meanwhile Alvira made a pact with God not to marry an Indian or Pakistani (which she is) but settles for orange haired Steve (Bobby Deol), who's half British half Punjabi, when he saves her from a falling Superman figure at Madam Tussuad's. Of course during the telling of these stories Rikki learns some Urdu, Alvira's cold exterior begins t melt and they fall in love. Whatever will they do?
This movie was a lot of fun. The stories were over the top and the songs were catchy and colorful. The look of the movie overall was fantastic, the lighting and costuming especially so. The characters were lovable (esp. Rikki's boss Huffy Bhai) and the actors seemed to have the time of their lives playing them. And let's not forget Big B w/ the feather in his cap popping up for musical interludes. Priety of course has the shrill, standoffish heroine down to a T. Abhishek is tacky, uncouth, but adorable (sounds like Dostana!). Lara Dutta is stunning, Bobby Deol doesn't float my boat, but he did well in his role. This movie knows it's ridiculous and you love it the more b/c of that.
And now, After 4 months and 35 films, here are some things I've learned from watching Hindi Films
Aas: Don't trust people w/ lazy eyes
Bhoothnath: If you send your child away to college it will lead to your death.
Chak De! India: Don't make Indian hockey fans mad
Chalte Chalte: Date before you get married
Chirag Kahan Roshni Kahan: Marry someone before you give them your child
Deewana: even if you're super annoying you can still marry Rishi Kapoor and SRK
Dev: Don't live in Mumbai
Devdas: Madhuri Dixit+Aishwarya Rai+dancing=gold
Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke: A Walk in the Clouds is better in Hindi, and Abhishek slaughters Keanu Reeves any day.
Diwale Dulhania Le Jayenge: Just be as Hindustani as you can be
Don '06: Kill the bad guy when you have the chance
Don '78: Make sure the only guy who knows your identity doesn't die
Dostana: If your script is tacky and offensive, at least make sure your actors are attractive
Fanaa: Don't let your blind daughter out of your sight
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom: Don't talk to strangers
Jodhaa Akbar: Be careful where wet nurses are concerned
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna: Just don't be horrible
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham : Say what you mean
Kal Ho Naa Ho: The heroine never deserves the hero
Koi...Mil Gaya: Who needs Flubber to play basketball?
Koyla: Proves, like Dewaana, that you should really make sure they're dead, and that Amrish Puri is one scary dude
Krrish: MacDonald's shoes are the chosen footwear of Hindi superheroes
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: SRK can cry 1001 different ways
Love Aaj Kal: When in doubt, listen to the Sikh
Luck By Chance: When in doubt, listen to SRK
Main Hoon Na: Learn to recognize people's eyes
Mohabbatein: If Harry Potter were Indian, he'd teach music at a prep school
Om Shanti Om: There's nothing worse than the pain of disco
Pardes: Americans will always try to rape you.
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani: SRK+diamond stud= me barfing
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi: Punjab's my favorite
Salaam Namaste: Abstinence is the only fool proof method
Shakti: The Power: Stay in Canada
Swades: We The People: NASA scientists can't do math
U Me Aur Hum: Kajol is a powerhouse of talent
Veer-Zaara: Indians and Pakistanis are the SAME thing!
And when in doubt, mesh shirts are always a go and you should probably cast Anupam Kher.
Dostana deserves its own entry. I was disappointed and shocked at how tacky it was, but I guess I shouldn't have expected much from a movie w/ the same premise as Chuck & Larry.
Abhishek Bachchan plays male nurse Sam, John Abraham plays photographer Kunal. Both are womanizers looking for apartments. They pretend to be gay when Neha (Priyanka Chopra) will only accept female roommates. Of course hijinks arise when they must prove their gay-ness, when other gay men are invited over, when of course they fall in love w/ smokin' hot Neha (just b/c she's hot, no other real reason is given) who falls for her boss (Bobby Deol). I'm not going to lie, I laughed my head off at many parts (mostly Abhishek's b/c he's HILARIOUS and I love him), but mostly the gay jokes were very offensive, to a straight, and I'd assume a gay audience. Blatent sexual jokes were no where near the tongue and cheek they were going for half the time, and there's only so much Miami flesh one can stand in 2 hours. I understand this is kind of a big deal in Indian cinema b/c of the sexuality issues, but I don't think such a tacky film will persuade many to one side or the other of the issue.
Good things a/b this film:
Abhishek, so endearing and attractive
Boman Irani playing Neha's gay boss, only b/c it was such a change from his character in Don
Really awful things a/b this film:
John Abraham having the gawl to reinact SRK/Kajol scenes from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai w/ Priyanka, who do they think they are?!
Sam and Kunal's ethics all together.
Chalte Chalte: I've decided to see the movies that Rab Ne's Phir Milenge is based off of, one of them being Chalte Chalte. This was produced by SRK's first production company he started w/ his buds Juhi Chawla and Aziz Mirza and apparently was their first film that didn't flop, but it flopped with me. I'm not a huge fan of Rani Muhkerjee. Of course she left a bad taste in my mouth as Tina, I don't care how instrumental she was in getting Anjali and Rahul back together, and in K3G through no fault of her own she got in their way again, even for so small a moment. It's a little inexplicable, but I just don't like her much. Basically her character Priya runs into SRK's and he's instantly in love, but she's heading back to Greece to get engaged to her childhood friend. He follows her and she chooses him. But that's only the first half! Then the marital problems and pig-headedness come into play. Raj and Priya are both heavily flawed but refuse to correct themselves for the long-term. I wasn't convinced by the "happy ending". SRK's performance reminded me of many others, mostly Devdas. Johny Lever played the town drunk that sang DDLJ the whole time. I didn't realize that Raj's song he sings for the gma is the title to the movie! Now I can pronounce it! but only if I sing it...
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna: are you joking me?! Good gravy, if I thought Chalte Chalte was a downer w/ an unlikable SRK this was 100 times worse. Two marriages, neither entirely blissful, but ok until one husband (SRK) and one wife (Rani) decide to be "friends" and help each other's marriages, only they end up being completely selfish and only helping themselves. There was not enough punishment and too much moral indiscretion w/o remorse. I refuse to believe this had a happy ending. I really hated Rani, but hey, I always have, and REALLY hated SRK. Imagine Devdas (the character's name is Dev, ha) and Raj from Chalte Chalte times a million and that was how unlikable and self destructive and pig-headed this character was. Mad props to KJo for making such an unlikable character out of SRK, and for playing emotions like a violin yet again.
Good things about KANK:
-Amitabh Bachchan plays the PIMP father that wears exquisite furs
-Abhishek Bachchan plays Rani's husband and Sexy Sam's son. He's a dear and has impeccable suit jackets that he flips the collars of, revealing fantastically colored under collars. At first I was like WAH? and then I was converted. Props Manish Malhotra, mad props.
-Preity Zinta was SRK's wife. She's my second fave after Kajol.
-Kajol had a cameo and shook her groove thang like no body's bizz-nezz.
-John Abraham was the D.J.
-Kirron Kher played SRK's mom, she's great.
-The costumes were fantastic.
-I bought this so I have the case and all. When you open it you pull down on this dealy and the discs are revealed by this crazy pop-up book mechanism, like you pull the bottom of the case and another disc holder pops out of the top too! It's straight up redick.
Question: How much is My Name Is Khan going to cost if KANK beat out K3G? Gosh Karan, you got some mad dough.
